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How Recruitment Marketers Can Write a Killer Introduction Email

25 June 2021
by Force24

It’s very easy to think of your email comms as a single component, but there’s so much more to it than that. So, if you’re wanting to up your recruitment marketing game, make this blog your first port of call.

So, let’s get straight into how to write an introduction email that will drive more traffic to an action phase, such as a conversion.

What goes into an introductory email?

Typically, we’d advise that you don’t go over one or two sentences in length. Use it as a chance to build from your subject line too – so make it sharp and concise.

However, that doesn’t mean you should be cutting corners or confusing your reader just to save paragraph space.

Where possible, use evidence, such as statistics and numbers, in the introductory paragraph. And make sure you don’t:

  • Write self-deprecating messages

  • Deliver a weak message that’s lacking in pride and direction

  • Patronise your reader

  • Use ‘We/I would love to’ or ‘I know you’re really busy, but’ sentences

  • Waffle!

Some bad examples we’ve personally received include:

  • Forget Celebrity X-Factor tonight

  • Just popping you an email to introduce…

  • How are you this morning?

  • As we’re entering the first quarter for 2021…

Others have wasted a killer opportunity to make sure we must read on because they’ve over-used pointless information, such as:

  • Hope you’re well, I tried to get hold of you on a couple of occasions last week, unfortunately it was to no avail

  • Afternoon [name], I wasn’t sure when you finished for the day, some people clock off at 5pm others a little earlier…

Now, having covered the bad, what’s good look like? Here’s an example of how recruiter marketing emails can engage a recipient within the first two paragraphs…

Hi [first name]

I recruit developers in Leeds and hold approximately 300 .net candidates looking for work on our database at any one time.

My team and I place 20 candidates per week into businesses like Force24. The chances are, if you’re looking for a new member of the team, I’m already talking to them.

You’re now beginning to build up to the bigger picture, create intrigue, and can move into the ‘desire and action’ component of your email. For example:

Timing is everything. If you’re not looking right now, I can’t help you. But if you are, I’ll start making introductions quickly.

Here are a few of my thoughts to consider when approaching your next hire:

  • Our research shows…

Use this opportunity to list a few bullet points which clearly evidence your expertise, and the fact that you understand exactly what the market wants.

Then, finally, it’s the sign-off. You want something strong with a clear call to action. An example of which, is:

Retaining top talent is also all about the above – keep it in mind and, if it’s okay with you, I’ll catch up with you every so often.

If you’d like to chat more, email me or call me on my mobile O77xxx

When you sign off, you can also use hyperlinks such as Discover the best talent now > or Learn how to attract the best talent > to further your engagement possibilities and drive traffic to a website.

We’d also advise you include a strong brand tag line that captures a reader’s attention (often one of the first places they go to, or lean on, when it comes to determining your credibility).

That is merely a snapshot of how to structure an introduction email, but it’s important that you create yours with your tone of voice running throughout.

And, remember that this piece of digital comms is one key part of your overall nurture sequence that includes further emails covering: ‘gain’, ‘fear’, ‘social proof’ and ‘urgency’. To find out more about these stages of your journey, what are the killer recruitment marketing subject lines, and more, download our free ‘The Ultimate Recruitment Guide’ today.


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